Fertility treatments

I'am on day two of my fertility treatments. I started them yesterday which was 04/13/2010. So far the only side effects I have had are some cramps. My doctor did tell me that this could happen so I wasn't worried when they started. I do not know if these treatments will do anything or not but it is so worth the effort of trying them. I will do anything to be a mommy again, its just a matter if God thinks that I'am ready to be a mother. I sure hope he does. I just don't understand why he would make it so difficult to conceive now, but when I was younger I was finding myself pregnant when I wasn't quite ready. I do not think that my kids were ever a mistake or an accident. I love them with all my heart and I wish that they were still with me now. But now that my husband and I are old enough and stable enough we are told "NO!" Maybe these treatments will be a "YES!" All I know is that I'am so ready to bring another child into this world and give that child the best life it could ever want!

My new found discovery

Today I had an appointment with my doctor. I was in shambles, trying to figure out ways to deal with this PCOS. I wanted to go over recent events with my doctor. I also wanted to ask a few questions. Well I didn't get the answers I wanted but I did get good news. There are a few infertility treatments that we can do. Of course my insurance won't cover them but they are something I can afford. I am so happy! I know there is only a 60% chance that they will work but its a sliver of hope that I didn't have before...

New things going on...

As you all know I have something called PID... Well on top of that I now have something called Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. This too is very painful. It is taking alot out of me... And this to causes infertility... Its seems like its just another thing getting up in my face and telling me that I'm not meant to be a mother... I had a baby when I was thirteen and another when I was seventeen. My daughter passed away in October 2005. My son was born in January of 2005 and was put up for adoption in April 2005.... I had two beautiful shots at mother hood and I let them both slip through the cracks... Maybe this is Gods way of punishing me for giving my child away... Or for just having them too young... I don't know but I feel like a failure all over again...

Christmas eve 2009

Okay so on Christmas eve I was in the hospital due to this PID... I wasn't able to keep anything down so my doctor told me to go to the ER... Well the doctors there hooked me up to an IV and were running fluids through my veins and drawing blood. Well long story short the doctor took me off my antibiotics and said they were doing more damage than good... I don't know what they meant by this but I listened... Anyways since then I still can't keep anything down and my pain has come back... I fear the infection has returned and I'am scared. The doctors told me that if I didn't finish my antibiotics my infection would return and they wouldn't be able to treat it because it would mutate and become immune to the antibiotics... I have an appt with my doctor on the 29th. I hope she can fix me... I keep praying and asking God why me but I guess I can't be thinking like this... I'am so worried that too much damage has been done... They are pretty sure that I got this after my D&C after I miscarried my son Isaihaih... That was almost 4 years ago... The longer you have this infection the worse the damage can be... I don't want to be infertile but that very well could be the case... We will have to wait and see... Please keep me in your prayers...

A week later...

It has been a week since I was diagnosed with having PID... I had to go back to the ER today... I was in so much pain still... At the last visit the doctors said I needed antibiotics so I went back... I was given antibiotics through the an IV and sent home with a prescription... Hopefully these antibiotics will cure the infection...

My news...

In mid December 2009 I went to the hospital for severe pelvic pain... I was throwing up everything and I couldn't keep anything down. The doctor seemed to know what was wrong immediately... He gave me morphine and zofran for pain and nausea... Well they ran some tests and did a pelvic exam... They results came back as Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. This news came like crashing thunder... It shook me to the core... they explained what it was and told me that along with pelvic pain, infertility could come along with this disease. This broke my heart. My husband and I have been trying to concieve for almost two years and no success. Maybe this is why. I am so scared...